Sometimes you don’t realize how much you’ve stopped focusing on something until someone else brings it up. For me, that "something" is marriage.
I’ve spent countless hours of my life (okay, in honesty maybe years) thinking about my future-husband. I’ve hoped that one day I too would get to walk to the aisle to begin a life with that someone special. In my 20s, I had a long term relationship that seemed destined to marriage. It fell apart. Yet, in the five years since ending that relationship I’ve come to terms with my solo life. In fact, I’d say I’m usually quite content.
So, why the recent thoughts about my non-existent husband? It started when I applied to renew my Canadian passport. The government now offers a 10-year passport. And it’s only $40 more than the 5-year version.
My reaction: Bargain!
My Mom’s reaction was a bit different. When I informed her that I was applying for the longer term passport, she questioned, “Wouldn’t it be wiser to get the 5-year passport, just in case you get married and change your name?”
Ummmm, what? That “just in case” hadn’t even crossed my mind.
Marriage, and the idea that I would one-day like to be married, does cross my mind. Occasionally.
But the idea of basing my decisions on whether or not it might happen in the next 5 to 10 years does not.
Is this what 30-something single women are left to face – a weighing of options “just in case” the man, the proposal, and the marriage might come along?
I have a friend who once admitted she didn’t apply to graduate school because she was hoping to get married. She said she feared staying in school might hurt her chances of getting a ring-put-on-it. But here’s the kicker. She wasn’t even dating anyone.
I’d hate for this to be a generation of women who are basing important decisions on “just in cases”. I'd categorize these things as something we’ve been dreaming, hoping and praying for to come along. Your “just in case” might be marriage. It could be getting a raise, having a baby, moving, losing weight, or clearing out those boxes you’ve been storing for a bigger house.
But, what if that “just in case” never happens? Or what if you’re not ready for that dream to be fulfilled, just yet?
Instead, let’s be women who remain secure in the blessings of today, not in the “what if's” of tomorrow.
Today, I know I’m blessed to be flexible in making decisions because it is just me. I’m blessed to have a family with whom I can celebrate Christmas. I’m blessed to have friends all over the world. So, the “what if’s” of tomorrow will have to wait until they actually happen.
Oh yeh, and if you’re wondering, I applied for the 10-year passport. Guess the "just in case" is now a "wait and see", right Mom!?!
P.S. I love you Mom, and I know you didn’t bring up the “wiser option” as a slight to my single status. So, I hope you're not offended and ask for your forgiveness if you are!