Why being single is both awesome & brutal.

Truth be told, sometimes the single-lady life is AWESOME. And sometimes it’s BRUTAL.
It’s not what I thought I’d say as a 30-something woman, whose childhood was filled with dressing up as a bride, and marrying her dolls off to each other to live happily ever after.

It’s really the ‘both/and’ aspect of singleness that sometimes is the hardest. Here’s what I mean.
 
I get to make decisions on my own. Awesome.
I get to make decisions on my own. Brutal.
 
I usually cook for one.
I don’t have to ask for another person’s perspective.
I won’t be a young mother.
I decorate my space the way I want.
 
You get the drift.
It’s this interesting tension I think single adults live with, whether we recognize it or not.

I’m the ‘fun aunt’.
It is a role I cherish. And can sometimes feel a bit crushed by without kids of my own.

4 years and 3 nephews later, my 'hot and single status' remains the same.
 
My sister bought this bib in May 2015 when I was moving back from Australia and meeting my first nephew for the first time. It was hilarious then. And still is. 

Glad my family has a good sense of humour.
 
Not everyone does though.
I’ve had some very well-meaning people ask me if I “even want to get married.”
Yes. I was in a long-term relationship that I had thought was headed that way in my 20s.
 
“Oh, I just thought because you were so dedicated to your faith that maybe you weren’t interested.”
“You seem quite happy with your life, so I wasn’t sure.”
Uhhhh, I’m having trouble with some of those connections.
 
I’m pretty sure I can love Jesus down in my heart while also desiring to be married.
I also think I can love Jesus, seek a close relationship with him, and have a in-real-life relationship too. And I kind of think it unfair to connect my level of happiness to whether or not I may still want to see other things happen in my life.
 
Perhaps my personality is okay with this tension of awesome and brutal.
Happy yet desiring different.

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